CHAPTER 14: Tips, Q & A

Questions

Someone Asks you, “Could I ask you a question?”
You answer, “NO.”
Someone asks you what year did you graduate?
Answer whatever you’d like. I graduated college in 1997* so that one’s easy for me.
If they ask what year I graduated high school.
Answer, “You must have not graduated from anything if you can’t figure that out.”
That ought to shut the person up.
What if someone 14 years younger than you asks your age?
Say I’m like 10 years older than you!”
This tells the asshole person that you are 10 or less years older than him/her but really like just means like. Not exactly!!


*As I am sure you have determined I did not “exactly rush off”1 to college right after high school.
1. Good phrase for obvious reasons to you by now. Good grasshopper!

Situations

As I walked into a Victoria’s Secret store a saleswoman walked up to me and said, “Hello Maam.”
I walked out.
Be careful people will say your age doesn’t matter* but it will put you in a restrictive category in the person’s mind. For example, my friend Kellie who always liked Madonna said that she is starting to look old and tired. Coincidentally the day Kellie made this comment was Madonna’s 40th birthday.

* If it didn’t they wouldn’t ask.

If you were born on the first year of a new decade (1940, 50, 60, etc) take advantage. If a vague reference to your age will suffice* as an answer, you can say I was born in the 50s. This automatically gives you a few years breathing room. Ditto for year graduated.

*When not in the prescence of overly nosy people.

Tips

Find significant events that happened days before your birth, bring them up in conversation and say, “I wasn’t even born yet.”
Notice that none of my date entries include years? Exactly you shouldn’t either. No dates on your resume, reference letters you may use. They become timeless, like you.
When is it OK to ask people their age? When they will most likely answer you by holding up the number of fingers representing their age.