Some of the best friends I've known for decades accept my age-o-phobe-icness and never bring the subject up. Maybe they looked it up themselves but never let on or treat me any different now that they know my age. That's ideal.
Yesterday a very good, new friend asked, "How Old Are You?" I made my usual attempts to dissuade her nosiness but she persisted. My first response was, I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you to which she responded, 'So kill me.' Then I made the HUGE MISTAKE of asking her to guess my age and she guessed way older. It's very hard to recover from that. It's the same feeling as when a child draws a picture of you emphasizing your worst feature, it's just how they see you.
I'm a few* years older than the nosy friend, and so is her husband. So after I told her my age, leaving me like a balloon popped by the pin prick of a question to hurtle across the yard, into a tiny pile of tattered latex, she then said, 'Oh, you're the same age as Nick - - but you look MUCH younger than him (even though she just guessed I was older than him.) Here's the surprise ending to this incident - - HER countenance changed.
Was she disappointed that she could no longer put me in the 'mother'** category and now had to see me as competition? I don't know for sure what her change was about but it wasn't about me. Somehow knowing my age made her feel bad.
So people, just STFU when it comes to age because everyone loses.
*A few is such a great word because no one actually holds you to meaning literally three.
**Something I will do if a person is six months or more older than me.
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